April 2011
March 2011
You always asked, “Why me?” And I always answered, “Because I love you.” And that is the answer, because I love you. It was always you. No matter what. I saw past the ghetto weirdo talk, the girly giggle, the beyond weirdness and all the imperfections. At the end of the day it’s those imperfections that I never wanted to lose along with your perfections. It was you because I’ve never been so comfortable around a guy in my life. I was able to tell you the grossest things ever or whatever was on my mind. We were so comfortable. We were strong. We barely fought. We didn’t have to go on dates except on special occasions. We did what we loved to do. Which was stay home, watch a movie, turn on the Bulls game and cuddle on the bed. When you asked me about the future and how far I thought we would make it, I was serious. I wanted it. When you asked me that one question, I told you I didn’t want to answer it right now. It was because I was scared of jinxing such a good thing but what good was that? I know what we had was real. When we were together everything was bliss. Remember that letter you wrote me on Valentines day? I read it last night. I know what you said in that letter was true. Maybe not all promises can make it all the way, but most of it I know was genuine. A couple weeks ago of friend of yours’ asked you advice about him losing feelings for his girlfriend. Remember what you said? You told him to give it one normal week together and to see how he felt at the end of the week. He took your advice. They made it. We would’ve made it. I thought I deserved at least one normal week for us to be together. When I went to your house to talk in person I asked, “What made you want to be with me again? When did you decide?” And you looked at me with that look that what you were about to say was real and replied, “It was pretty much when I saw you walk in through my door.” Then, I instantly rested my head on your shoulder. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite. Remember all those reasons you told me why you wanted to get back. You said, “I thought about what would happen if I lost you. I don’t think I would be able to find a girl like you that loves me as much as you do.” We decided we needed to see each other more because that was the biggest set back in our relationship. You didn’t even give us a chance. I wanted us to work on it and see where we would end up. A week when we were on our break was not a chance. I just wanted a real chance. A real chance. What we had was too real and I know you know it. We were in love. I’m still in love. All I wanted, was a chance for us. All I wanted was a chance for us to work together and overcome the struggle and all the doubts we were both having. If I gave up every time I had doubts, everything would’ve been different. I never gave up on you because if there was a time I questioned my feelings for you I gave it a chance and I mean a real chance. And you know what happened? My doubts faded every time. A chance. That’s all I deserved. That’s all I wanted. We would’ve made it.
- If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
- If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
- If you don’t step forward, you will always be in the same spot.
Have you made a mistake in the past week?
Definitely.
What were you doing at 7:00 AM?
On my way to school.
Would you put yesterday on repeat and live it forever?
Fudge no.
Who did you last text?
Rachel/Nikka.
When is the last time you were at a beach?
Melissa’s bday thangalang?
- L: You loved him, didn't you?
- S: More than you know. Even more than he knows. And even though it hurts, I still do.
All I did was love you. All I did was do what your ex couldn’t do. You broke up with her because she couldn’t show you she loved you. You broke up with me when it’s all I ever did.